Bible Teacher. Pastor.Educator.

Lord, Please Guide My Words

“The lips of the righteous leaders nourish many of their followers, but fools die for lack of sense.” (Proverbs‬ ‭10:21‬)

Dear Young and Gifted Leader,

Watch your words! Ungodly words are either a result of unconfessed sin in your heart, unresolved conflict with other leaders, or selfish ambition in your heart. Your words in public and private will also either develop your credibility, distract people from Jesus, or destroy your life.

In my two decades of student ministry, one thing I’ve learned is that the hardest mistakes to correct are from words I had spoken without first thinking of the consequences. Therefore, here are five things to remember before you open your mouth:

1. Will these words reflect my commitment to Christ?
2. Will these words build the faith of the listener?
3. Will these words allow me to foster love among my fellow believers?
4. Will these words establish my commitment to allow the Holy Spirit to change my heart as well?
5. Will I regret saying these words later?

 

Hey! I love you, and am praying for you!

 

Respectfully,

Pastor James

Edited by Andy Gehron (DefendingTheLord.com)

Don’t Bash the Process!

Dear Fellow Christ Follower,

If “WE” are NOT making sacrifices to reach the next generation with the message of the Gospel, then “WE” are simply “playing” Church. If we want to reach this next generation with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, then we must be willing to make hard sacrifices - whatever it takes to reach them.

But before we can even get a word in, we must first earn the right to be worth listening to. This generation is not about listening simply because something is true, but because they trust the person talking (because Truth is relative to them). Therefore, if we are to preach, or even share Christ’s Gospel to non-churched teenagers, then we must love teenagers well and prove worthy to their standards in order to earn the privilege of being listened to and heard, let alone declaring the message of redemption.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, “Even though I am a free man with no master, I have become a slave to all people to bring many to Christ. When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish Law, I too lived under that Law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who are without the Law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the Law of God; I obey the law of Christ. When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings.”

We must sacrifice our lives if we are to see the Gospel of Jesus Christ invade the darkness of the world of non-churched youth. But they will never receive the message of Christ’s Gospel without first experiencing radical compassion from us. Therefore, we must engage them outside the church walls; we must go to where they are, where they hang out, where they feel most comfortable -- their turf, if you will, and show them Christ-like compassion and empathy like they’ve never before experienced from an adult. We must show them the face of Christ, the cares of Christ, the concerns of Christ, and the trust (with wisdom) of Christ, for as Jesus said when sending out His 12, “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16).

We must spend time giving generously of our time and treasures; we must build bridges of grace before we can proclaim the Truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and we must do it by going where they are.

Respectfully,

Pastor James Owolabi

Edited by Andy Gehron (DefendingTheLord.com)

Empathy Is Crucial

*Before reading this article, take a moment to read the picture above.

 

EMPATHY IS CRUCIAL

Empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another”. Once you’ve secured empathy, that is the first step in the right direction to connecting with your students’ needs. Moving forward, I encourage you to make an effort to understand where kids are coming from when they are defiant. This poem is a common scenario that many of our students experience. Their plight is that even though they are children, they are faced daily with difficulties and hardships that should be handled by the absentee parents in their lives.

 

Why is empathy crucial?

After the 20+ years that I have worked with teenagers, I realized that the teenagers from low-income families are seeming to lack the same enthusiasm and positive attitude towards life that other regions have. This is because inner-city teenagers are fighting on a daily basis to live normally. Even if a teenager wants to do well in school, he might have little, or no support system to help him in his academic endeavors, which leads to feeling lost and discouraged. With a majority of the adults in their lives missing a high school diploma or a higher education, it is difficult for our students to grasp the concept that their futures could be different. Poverty cracks the dreams of these young people in half, and that is why you experience so much resistance from them.

• They guard their hearts from optimism, or the wisdom you could provide, as a defense mechanism. After seeing the low standards set before them, it can be scary to even imagine producing a different outcome -- being confrontational is the shell that blocks out rational conversations. Staying in their comfort zone is easier than dreaming or accepting hope.
• School and other environments are usually a refuge for children in a poverty-stricken area. So if you ask a student a question, or try giving constructive criticism, and they lash out at you, remember that it is usually not a reflection of something you’ve done, but most likely a response to a trigger that reminded them of the struggles in their home life.
• Our teens have a survival of the fittest mentality. Due to the violence they may have already been exposed to that day, our students are always on edge. Being too kind can make them look weak and an easy target; it can be a tough life to always be scared for your safety.

Empathy is crucial, which is why we must connect before we correct.

• If a bond and trust is established, then we will know exactly what is plaguing the minds of our students.
• By having a true understanding of what their situation is, we will be able to help them more effectively.
• Once they know we genuinely care, and want to help them, they will eventually begin to answer our questions, and respond better when we tell them something.
• Simply seeing a student every day is not going to establish a deep connection. You have to actually take time to mold a bond slowly by really talking to them. Even opening up about yourself or personal struggles will help lower a student’s defensiveness.

Here are some key tips to remember:

1. Learn to recognize change in body language - If you notice that happiness has seemed to fade away from someone who is most often joyful, don’t be afraid to ask them what has been going on recently. Just be sure to give them time to respond.
2. Address conflict in a group, not one on one - Because of social media, teenagers see each other in packs; they always move in a group. So confronting them with 3 close friends nearby will cause them to be more receptive.
3. Intentionally seek out parental figures - Connect your students with churches or after school programs where they can gain a mentor. Many are being raised by adults with no emotional support themselves, so we need to work towards adding some positive influences.

Lastly, I hope your biggest takeaway from this article is that EMPATHY IS CRUCIAL 

Empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another”. Once you’ve secured empathy, that is the first step in the right direction to connecting with your students’ needs. Moving forward, I encourage you to make an effort to understand where kids are coming from when they are defiant.

The best way to respond to defiance is not discipline, it’s empathy.

 

Respectfully,

Pastor James Owolabi

Edited by Andy Gehron (DefendingTheLord.com)

Expect Opposition

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“When it was day, the Jews formed a conspiracy and bound themselves under an oath, saying that they would neither eat nor drink until they had killed Paul.” ---‭‭Acts‬ ‭23:12‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Dear Young and Gifted Leader,

Expect opposition! Do not look for it, do not crave it, but expect it and do not be surprised by it. Great leaders and change agents of every age are often misunderstood by their generation, only to be celebrated after their assassination. Muhammad Ali was vilified in life, but celebrated in his death. King was opposed in his life, but admired by his peers today. Today, he is crowned by many as the father of freedom from racial segregation in North America. Expect opposition, young gifted man! Expect opposition, young brilliant woman. Expect opposition! It has been used by God to activate emotional intelligence in my life.

 

Opposition will come from insiders!

Opposition toward the work of God to transform the lives of teenagers in our generation should be expected from faithful “truth-tellers” in our lives. We will be opposed by well-intentioned “dinosaurs” in our lives who are committed to preserving the status quo in our ministry. Opposition is subtle, and can be disguised as genuine concern from close companions who are more committed to our emotional comfort than our Spiritual maturity. Opposition to a divine work from the people we love and know might be a clear indication and strong confirmation “NOT” to retreat from an assignment that God has given us. Yes, we should know when to persist and when to retreat, but remember, God does some of His greatest work in the heart of  “planet-shakers”, through “cautionary parables” from family members, and betrayal of close friends. We cannot retreat! Expect opposition! Do not look for it, do not crave it, expect it, and do not be surprised by it.

 

Opposition will come from outsiders!

Women of God!

Opposition will come from pretty and polite politicians. Opposition will come from sincere parents, brilliant entertainers, and gifted educators. We will be disregarded, dissed, and dismissed by deplorable Democrats, and rejected by self-righteous Republicans, if we compassionately and courageously lift up the Lordship of Christ daily in our godless culture. Expect opposition! Do not look for it! Do not crave it, but expect it, and do not be surprised by it. Opposition from strangers can be confirmation that we are doing what God has called us to do.

 

Reflect on opposition!

Opposition means we are refusing the spirit of mediocrity in an age of superficial faith. Opposition should not only drive us to the “drawing board of critical thinking”, but lead us to the private closet of reflective prayer and candid conversations with wise mentors about blind spots in our lives. Opposition should cause us to think and reflect deeply on God’s direction for our lives. Opposition should never lead us to the folly of doing God’s work in man’s way. Opposition should make us tender, not bitter. Opposition should build bricks of tenacious faith in us, and lead us to a committed life of “radical routines” of self-discipline.

Expect opposition! Do not look for it! Do not crave it, expect it, and do not be surprised by it.

Young Leader, I love you! Expect opposition! Don't be alarmed! Be prayerful! Don't snap! Pray! I am so proud of you!

With Deepest Affection,

Pastor James Owolabi

 Edited by Andy Gehron (DefendingTheLord.com)

Meet Pastor James Owolabi

^{Who is Pastor James Owolabi?}

^{Pastor James Owolabi has been a youth conference speaker for the past decade and a mission leader on the southside of Chicago with Youth for Christ!} 

^{Pastor James (PJ) was born and raised in Nigeria, West Africa, and spent his adult life in Chattanooga, Tampa, Seattle, Chicago and Indianapolis. He earned his B.S. in Pastoral Studies from Tennessee Temple University in 2002, a Master of Ministry in 2005 from Northwest Baptist Seminary, and has served in Youth Ministry for two decades in North America and West Africa.}

^{In 2012, he’s launched a national ministry through which he speaks nationally to middle school and high school students in Alabama, Alaska, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, the Island of Dominica, Kentucky, North Carolina, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, and Washington.} 

^{In October of 2015, the Lord moved Pastor Owolabi to the southside of Chicago with the mission to reach and disciple 1000 teenagers in 5 years on the southside of Chicago. He leads four weekly events in Chicago consisting of over 150 students on the Southside of Chicago}

 

^{You can often catch James enjoying deep conversations with his close friends about church leadership, attending conferences, traveling the world, Asian food, reading biographies, and watching documentaries.}

^{God has enabled Pastor Owolabi with the ability to build up strong partnerships with churches, schools, and nonprofits in Chicago, throughout North America, and around the world. God has used these partnerships to aid him in mentoring and training next generation leaders and teenagers on the south side of Chicago to walk with Jesus Christ.} 

 ^{James is often described by his close friends  as  intense, driven, assertive, entrepreneurial, thoughtful, generous, loud, passionate and unconventional mission leader. He is an unmarried, radical believer in Jesus Christ, Nigerian-born, proud American, Starbucks-addict who is passionate about Jesus Christ, consuming podcasts, 5 miles walks, teaching the Bible to next generation leaders, and being a student of teenagers and students on the south side of Chicago. He serves churches, non-profits, and schools around the Chicago land and across the United States as a conference speaker, adjunct educator, youth ministry coach, and mission leader. Please watch the video below to learn about one of Pastor Owolabi's ministry partnerships in Chicago:}

James is excited about building new partnerships to help him reach over 1000 teenagers on the South side of Chicago. James is praying for God to lead more churches, organizations and business leaders to partner with him.  in this divine endeavor.If you would like to be a part of what God is doing through Pastor James Owolabi on Chicago’s south side, throughout North America, and around the world, please call Pastor James at (360) 471-7260