Life time Learner, Youth Pastor, Evangelist and Motivational Speaker.

Five tips for youth pastors in dealing with your senior leadership and wise words from Chris LoCurto's Blog

Five tips for youth pastors:

Pray for your Senior Pastor. Praise for your pastor out of a generous heart.

Ask permission before you share your view about a touchy issue. Remember the iceberg melts faster when the sun is out. 

Do not interrput their conversations. Seek to listen, See to understand while you learn to learn. Think then speak. Never be afraid to apologize for saying something stupid.

Leave your emotions outside the door before a meeting. Write down your thoughts before you share them. Share your thoughts with another mentor the same age as your senior leader.

Never confront your senior pastor publically. Praise publically, share concerns privately.

 

Here some more wise word from Chris LoCurto:

How To Communicate With A Leader With A Different Personality

By Chris LoCurto

It’s a great question, and truthfully, one most of us deal with. You’re not likely to work for someone with the same personality style you have. While a lot of leaders hire people like them, there’s still enough of a separation that each person’s style is different. Therefore, you need to discover the best way to work with one another. If both are well versed in personality styles and lean in each other’s direction, it’s not as hard. But when they’re not, try this:

• Get to know you – You have to first get to know you! If you don’t understand yourself, you can’t really understand why you act, react and process the way you do. And the key to giving information is understanding how you receive information. Once you know this, you can adjust your style to better communicate with others — not changing who you are, just adjusting how you communicate.

• Get to know your leader – A conversation takes two people…for most of us at least. So you need to understand the personality of the person you’re communicating with. How do they give and receive information? At what speed do they process? Do they have tendency to gather all the available information, or do they leave out the details?

• Get to writing – As you learn the strengths and weaknesses of the person you are communicating with, you can identify the areas that will either help or hurt you. In other words, if you are a high C personality, you need details, and that makes working with a high I personality difficult. They will bring excitement, enthusiasm and motivation, but it’s also possible they will leave out some details that you consider vital. So make a list of the things you need from this person every time you communicate with them. Then check the list off as you go.

• Get to resolve – Be sure to replay the conversation in your mind and ask yourself if you received all the information necessary for you to be successful. If not, address those points quickly.

As you do this you will set yourself up for success. But you should also work to convince your leader of the need to know their own personality style. Once they understand themselves, they can do a lot of the necessary work.

 

via chrislocurto.com

Most of the Books I want to read in 2011 from the 40 Great Leadership Books to Read « Brad Lomenick

40 Great Leadership Books to Read

August 31st, 2011 in Uncategorized. 10 Comments

I love leadership. And I read a lot. So I wanted to provide you with a list of some of the books I recommend.

These are not the only leadership books you should read. There are hundreds of others that are great. But these are just simply 40 of my favorites.

So here you go. And please share this list with your friends, team, and other leaders who might benefit.

40 leadership books to read:

1. Good to Great- Jim Collins

2. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership- John Maxwell

3. Courageous Leadership- Bill Hybels

4. The Next Generation Leader- Andy Stanley

5. Now, Discover Your Strengths- Marcus Buckingham

6. Love is the Killer App- Tim Sanders

7. The Tipping Point- Malcolm Gladwell

8. Tribes- Seth Godin

9. It: How Churches and Leaders can Get it and Keep it- Craig Groeschel

10. Integr

via bradlomenick.com

Love: 1 Corinthians 13: 6 - Text Sermon by Pastor James Owolabi...Journey Community Church In Tacoma Ocotober 23rd 2011

    Love Is A Verb

Sermon by Pastor James Owolabi Preached at Journey Community Church October 23rd 2011 am Service

1 Corinthians 13:6 by James Owolabi

Series:Love

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Christians who have the Love of God in their hearts do not delight in evil. They rejoice with the truth because they understand that:

• God does not rejoice in the destruction of the wicked.

• God’s grace is greater than any sin. 

Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace. – Jerry Bridges

• God values a heart of repentance over a head full of religion. 

Our first problem is that our attitude towards sin is more self-centered than God-centered.

• We are more concerned about our own "Victory" over sin than we are about the fact that our sin grieves the heart of God.We cannot tolerate failure in our struggle with sin chiefly because we are success oriented, not because we know it is offensive to God" - "Pursuit of Holiness" Jerry Bridges

 Tips for the Journey

1. Seek to love without expectation.

2. Learn to ask forgiveness when you hurt those you love.

3. Seek to give grace to those across “the hallway”.

Back to message list

via journeyencounter.org

How Google May Help You Identify Your ‘Functional Saviors’ | Ordinary Pastor

Can you ‘P.S.’ a blog post?
ps: As an additional help. In Mark Driscoll & Gerry Breshear’s book Vintage Jesus they provide the following list to help identify these functional saviors:

1. What am I most afraid of?

2. What do I long for most passionately?

3. Where do I run for comfort?

4. What do I complain about the most?

5. What angers me most?

6. What makes me happiest?

7. How do I explain myself to other people?

8. What has caused me to be angry with God?

9. What do I brag about?

10. What do I want to have more than anything else?

11. What do I sacrifice the most for in my life?

12. If I could change one thing in my life what would that be?

13. Whose approval am I seeking?

14. What do I want to control/master?

15. What comfort do I treasure the most?

via www.ordinarypastor.com

Greatness is not primarily a matter of circumstance

http://Greatness%20is%20not%20primarily%20a%20matter%20of%20circumstance.%20Greatness%20is%20first%20and%20foremost%20a%20matter%20of%20conscious%20choice%20and%20discipline.%20The%20factors%20that%20determine%20whether%20or%20not%20a%20company%20becomes%20truly%20great,%20even%20in%20a%20chaotic%20and%20uncertain%20world,%20lie%20largely%20within%20the%20hands%20of%20its%20people.%20It%20is%20not%20mainly%20a%20matter%20of%20what%20happens%20to%20them%20but%20a%20matter%20of%20what%20they%20create,%20what%20they%20do,%20and%20how%20well%20they%20do%20it.

How to Survive Getting Fired byErin Jackson is National Director – Community & Care for the Center of Youth Ministry Excellence and the YouthWorker Movement

Ever felt that way in youth ministry?  I have.

It’s hard for me to share this so publicly, but a few months ago I was blindsided when I learned on a Tuesday morning that I had lost my youth director job and that the next Sunday would be my last one serving the church.  I was told that my ministry gifts were appreciated, but I was “just not a good fit” for that specific church.

From my perspective, here’s what happened: I knew without a doubt that I had done all that I was asked to do and that I had poured my heart into my ministry.  I could see the fruit of my hard work in the form of new missions, new excitement and even in the form of youth being called into ministry.  Good discipleship was happening.  Although there had been some snags along the way, things seemed to be on a good path.

Back to the game of social survival.  Clearly there were members of the tribe that were dissatisfied with how things looked from the outside and they had the social power I lacked.  I wasn’t given much in the way of warning signs – although in retrospect, there were a few.  It turns out “the tribe had spoken” months earlier when I wasn’t in the room… I know this because someone had already been hired to replace my role.

That hurt.  My head still spinning, I had a great conversation with my friend, Len Evans (perfectly gifted for his role at Simply Soul Care) about the five main reasons youth ministers get fired.  Here’s the deal – I had believed I was immune to getting fired, but getting fired in youth ministry is fairly common.  After talking to many a fired youth worker over the years, Len had found basically 5 common reasons.  His advice helped me to better understand what had happened in my own situation, so maybe it can help someone you know too. Here’s a great excerpt in Len’s words:

The phrase “It wasn’t a good fit” is often used to explain transitioning and turnovers between ministries and ministers. It’s an ambiguous phrase but it speaks volumes.  I’ve always wanted to establish a long-term ministry at one church and yet I’m serving my third church in nine years.  I learned through the transitions the importance of finding the mystical “good fit”. A good number of hurts that require healing can be avoided if you know which fits to look for.

1. Theological Fit: This should be obvious but too many youth workers who grew up Baptist wonder why they have a difficult time in a mainline church, or the other way around. Unless you plant your own church there will rarely be a 100% theological match so know your theological non-negotiables.

I had a perfect fit theologically at my first church because the entire pastoral staff went to the same seminary. The differences do make a difference. Just because you are able to get along with someone that holds different theological views doesn’t mean that you can serve in the same church with them. I have a lot of friends from the entire spectrum of Christianity, we can pray together and I know they loved Jesus but I would never be able to work in some of their churches. It’s a matter of conviction and integrity.

2. Philosophical Fit: You and the church may value evangelism but if you don’t agree on how to do evangelism eventually you will have conflict.  If one person in your church wants to hand out tracts to anyone and everyone and another person wants to have a holistic approach to reaching their friends, there will be a conflict when they discuss evangelism.  If the church defines youth worker as events coordinator and you think of yourself as a pastor who is about equipping others for ministry, there will be problems eventually.

Spoken or unspoken, there are different expectations about a youth ministry’s role in the c

via ywmovement.org

The hardest person to Lead........ME!!!!

One of the hardest lessons I have learned is that self management is not easy. It is easier, but senseless to tell people about places you have never been.  It is wiser to lead people where you have been.  if I can lead myself well.  I will lead men well. People can then follow me and learn from me. My prayer is that God will use me to lead me well. The Leadership challenge for this black preacher is to allow God to manage my deepest fears and my deepest hurts for the next fourty five years of my life.

    In his fantastic work on Leadership. Tim Irvin ( the author of "Derailed"..the best book I have read on leadership this year after the Bible)  reflects deeply on self management: "Effective self mangementss is heavily depentdent upon good self -and other awarness. A lack of self and other awareness is a common denominator among those who derail. The ability to manage our relationships is heavily dependent upon our perspectiveness of what is going on within us and with others. ....Self aware individuals pay attention to their emotions  without being ruled by them. ..They understand that how to build their stengths and observe their limits."

10 Steps for Maintaining Moral Boundaries by Doug Fields..

Here are some practical steps you can take to guard your heart:

1• Acknowledge your vulnerability. Don’t EVER say, “That could never happen to me.”

2• Maintain your fundamental spiritual disciplines: Bible study, prayer, active involvement in a faith community and perhaps most importantly; the lost discipline of Scripture memory.

3• Intentionally cultivate solid same-gender friendships. Your social circles should not be made up entirely of teenagers.

4• Invest consistently in your own marriage and family. If you are a man, choose to courageously lead your wife and children spiritually.

5• Develop strong accountability around pornography, online activity and media consumption. It can be a powerful disinhibitor. (Install X3Watch on your computers–it’s inexpensive and powerful accountability.)

6• Be especially vigilant during times of unusual ministry effectiveness and success. The feelings of entitlement that often come with the euphoria of those moments make us especially vulnerable.

7• Don’t be stupid! Avoid any and all situations that have even the appearance of compromise.

8• Recognize it as spiritual warfare and use the weapons of warfare given to us in Scripture to do battle

9• I hate to have to say this… but if you are aware of a personal vulnerability to inappropriate relationships with children or teenagers, please voluntarily step aside from ministry, confide your problem to someone you trust and get the help you need.

10• Count the cost… consciously, intentionally, write it down – who will be impacted by my failure … and regularly review the implications of slipping down the slope of sexual compromise in your ministry. There will be more on this tomorrow.

via www.dougfields.com

Almost 10 years of Youth Ministrty 10 Tips for dealing with Parents in youth ministry and an excerpt from '3 Thing to Never Say to your Volunteers" from Youth Ministry Guru Doug Franklin Online

1. Remember that parents are a gift from God to their children. Affirm them during your youth talks.
2. Remember that there are no perfect parents. Never bash the parents in front of the kids. Pray for the parents.
3. The Mom is always right. Listen to her. Dont get emotionally attached to the "hot" single mom.  Never tell a student that her mom is hot!!! She may be hot but so is Hell. Keep your thoughts to yourself.
4. Respect the decisions of the Dad especially if they Homeschool their families. Home school dads are the boss. Respect dads. When shaking the hands of the couple always shake the hands of the dad first if you are a guy. If you a girl shake the hands of the mother first.
5. Learn from the worst parents on how not to treat "them" or their child. An honest soft sincere apology to a parents, 80% of the time turns away their wrath. Learn to say" I am sorry .....". 
6. Listen to what parents are not saying. Listen carefully to what kids say about church policies and politics.....you will hear what their parents really think of you.
7. Never disrespect a parent in front of their kids.
8. Honor your own parents.
9. Remember there are no perfect parents. 
10. Pray reguarly for God to parents of pre-teens. Always listen to them. Most of the time..mom is just afraid. Listen to her fears.

Doug FankIn gives some good insight:

3. Never say to your volunteers: Parents don’t get youth ministry or the pastor doesn’t get youth ministry

When you disrespect an authority volunteers get nervous. They know that you’re not in charge and that you don’t have the experience most parents and pastors have. Your disrespect of these people will make you look immature and stupid. I know at times you are frustrated with them but you need to learn submission. Taking your frustration out in your front of your volunteers will do more to hurt your leadership than almost anything else. Speak highly of your parents and pastors. Give them respect and the other volunteers will respect you

via www.dougfranklinonline.com

Taking Care of the People who serve with you ....HerbertCooper.com | Thoughts from a husband, father, pastor and friend.

Take Care Of Your Team pt. 2

October 19, 2011 in General

6. Be a blessing to your team’s kids. On their birthdays, buy them a card or a gift, but whatever you do, remember and honor their kids’ birthdays.

7. Provide a card or even a gift when your team or your team’s spouse has a birthday or wedding anniversary.

8. Provide extra benefits or perks for people who have been on your team a long time. The 5 year mark, 10 year mark,15 and 20 year marks are great times to reward people for their longevity. Reward faithfulness and fruitfulness.

9. When possible, bless your team with some extra time off during the Christmas holiday season. A couple extra days off can make a huge difference in your team’s energy level, and it let’s them know that you value and care about them and their families.

10. Celebrate victories and have a blast with your team. Have staff parties. Eat together. Play fantasy football together. Go on a fun retreat together. Go to a conference together. Whatever you do, laugh a lot and have fun with your team.

Take Care Of Your Team

October 18, 2011 in General

1. Be sure to truly love the team of people you lead.

2. Be there for your team during difficult times.

3. Make sure your team is staying healthy in all areas of their life. Periodically, ask them how they are doing.

4. Make sure your team takes their vacation time to recharge their batteries.

5. Pay your team as well as you can, and do your best to provide health insurance and other benefits to take care of your team.

More tomorrow!

via herbertcooper.com