Ever felt that way in youth ministry? I have.
It’s hard for me to share this so publicly, but a few months ago I was blindsided when I learned on a Tuesday morning that I had lost my youth director job and that the next Sunday would be my last one serving the church. I was told that my ministry gifts were appreciated, but I was “just not a good fit” for that specific church.
From my perspective, here’s what happened: I knew without a doubt that I had done all that I was asked to do and that I had poured my heart into my ministry. I could see the fruit of my hard work in the form of new missions, new excitement and even in the form of youth being called into ministry. Good discipleship was happening. Although there had been some snags along the way, things seemed to be on a good path.
Back to the game of social survival. Clearly there were members of the tribe that were dissatisfied with how things looked from the outside and they had the social power I lacked. I wasn’t given much in the way of warning signs – although in retrospect, there were a few. It turns out “the tribe had spoken” months earlier when I wasn’t in the room… I know this because someone had already been hired to replace my role.
That hurt. My head still spinning, I had a great conversation with my friend, Len Evans (perfectly gifted for his role at Simply Soul Care) about the five main reasons youth ministers get fired. Here’s the deal – I had believed I was immune to getting fired, but getting fired in youth ministry is fairly common. After talking to many a fired youth worker over the years, Len had found basically 5 common reasons. His advice helped me to better understand what had happened in my own situation, so maybe it can help someone you know too. Here’s a great excerpt in Len’s words:
The phrase “It wasn’t a good fit” is often used to explain transitioning and turnovers between ministries and ministers. It’s an ambiguous phrase but it speaks volumes. I’ve always wanted to establish a long-term ministry at one church and yet I’m serving my third church in nine years. I learned through the transitions the importance of finding the mystical “good fit”. A good number of hurts that require healing can be avoided if you know which fits to look for.
1. Theological Fit: This should be obvious but too many youth workers who grew up Baptist wonder why they have a difficult time in a mainline church, or the other way around. Unless you plant your own church there will rarely be a 100% theological match so know your theological non-negotiables.
I had a perfect fit theologically at my first church because the entire pastoral staff went to the same seminary. The differences do make a difference. Just because you are able to get along with someone that holds different theological views doesn’t mean that you can serve in the same church with them. I have a lot of friends from the entire spectrum of Christianity, we can pray together and I know they loved Jesus but I would never be able to work in some of their churches. It’s a matter of conviction and integrity.
2. Philosophical Fit: You and the church may value evangelism but if you don’t agree on how to do evangelism eventually you will have conflict. If one person in your church wants to hand out tracts to anyone and everyone and another person wants to have a holistic approach to reaching their friends, there will be a conflict when they discuss evangelism. If the church defines youth worker as events coordinator and you think of yourself as a pastor who is about equipping others for ministry, there will be problems eventually.
Spoken or unspoken, there are different expectations about a youth ministry’s role in the c
via ywmovement.org
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