Vetrean Pastor, Life time Learner, Problem Solver, Servant-Leader and Motivational Speaker.

Listen to a sermon by Pastor James Owolabi Psalm 23 clink on the link below...

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3 Reasons to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your ChildrenBlog | Grace Family Baptist Church

1. Our children will eventually leave home. Prepare your marriage for the empty nest:
To my knowledge, I’ve never talked to a person who divorced after twenty-five or thirty years who didn’t say something like this: “Once the kids were gone, we realized we really didn’t have much of a marriage.” Building a marriage on the foundation of the preeminence of children is like building a house on a rented removable slab. You may have days or even years when you feel completely secure, but the day is coming when the lease will be up and the foundation upon which your home stands will be taken away. A family shepherd must not allow his family to fall into this trap.

2. Our marriage forms the cornerstone of our children’s security:
Ironically, those who prioritize their children above their marriage are not only jeopardizing their marriage, they’re actually depriving their children of the very thing they desire to provide them. The greatest source of security our children have in this world is a God-honoring, Christ-centered marriage between their parents. Putting the children first is like a police officer putting away his badge and gun in order to make the public feel more at ease. A family shepherd must put his marriage before his children in order to provide them with the security they both need and desire.

3. Putting your marriage first will actually prepare your children for marriage:

Prioritizing your children above your marriage is both foolish and dangerous because it sets a precedent that contradicts one of the greatest lessons you’ll ever teach your children—how to be good husbands and wives. We must first and foremost model a commitment to marriage. Failure to do this will communicate ideas that are contrary to what we believe—starting with the narcissism it tends to create in our children—including the pitfalls that may follow them into their marriage. For example, if we prioritize our children above our marriage, we teach our children that marriage exists for children. If this is the case, how will our children react to the early months or years of their marriage when there are no children? How will they respond if, God forbid, they should struggle with infertility? If the heart of marriage is “living for the kids,” these scenarios could be difficult at best.

via www.gracefamilybaptist.net

Favorite New Things Archive - Brad Lomenick

1. Business Cards

2. Fake plants in the office

3. Radio Stations

4. Salvation Bracelets

5. Fax Machines

6. License plates on your front bumper

7. Home Phones

8. Blue tooth earpieces

9. Local news

10. Church Bulletins

11. Phone holsters

12. Doc Martins

13. Pleats

14. Your name plate on your desk

15. CD’s

16. Trust falls

17. Nickelback

18. Combovers

19. Pennies

20. Encyclopedias

21. Phone Booths

22. Feauxhawks

23. Newspaper

via www.bradlomenick.com

11 Practical Ways for Men to Lead a Family | Pastor Mark Driscoll

Here are 11 practical tips for husbands to strive to lead their family well:

1. As the family leader, model humility, honesty, repentance, service, study, and worship. Your life preaches at least as loudly as your words, so teach and model humble godliness by the grace of God.

2. Make sure everyone in your family has a good, age-appropriate Bible that they regularly read. Read the Bible yourself and with them so they are encouraged to read on their own.

3. Make sure you have some basic Bible study tools available for your family in either print or digital form and that everyone learns to use them. If you do not know where to begin, ask your pastor or a godly student of Scripture in your church about things like a good Bible commentary, concordance, dictionary, and atlas.

4. Buy good Christian books for everyone in your family to read. Include Christian biographies among those books.

5. Choose good books that you and your wife can be reading together, including books of the Bible, and discuss what you are learning.

6. If there are Bible-based classes offered in your church, attend with your family.

7. Redeem your commute by listening to good sermons and classes, many of which you can download for free.

8. Have dinner together with your family most nights, and use that time to pray together, keep a journal log of prayer requests for other people, and read a portion of the Bible and talk about it together.

9. Pray for each member of your family every day and let them know you are praying for them.

10. Place a hand on the head of each of your children every day and pray over them. Then kiss them on the head and make sure they often get a loving hug.

11. While either snuggling or holding hands, pray with and for your wife every day and remember to include the reasons you are thankful to God for her that day. If these things have not been common in your home, it is very likely that your family has been aching for them and will be thankful for your loving leadership as the head of your home.

via pastormark.tv

Matt Chandler - De-churched Video of the day. I love it.....

via www.youtube.com

Responding with Gentleness & Respect..... what a concept.....

via www.youtube.com

34 for things a youth worker shouldn’t apologize for.

Don’t apologize….

• For being 39 and loving to hang with teenagers.
• For giving a student a hug, it might be the only hug they get all day.
• For pursing a career in something your parents think is a stepping stone.
• For giving up another career for something most adults don’t get.
• For loving a job that your boss might look down on.
• For being bored during the diving part of a swim meet.
• For going to a soccer game simply to say hi and show your support for someone who isn’t your kid.
• For liking how bad a freshmen jazz band sounds.
• For texting info about tomorrows Bible study during staff meeting.
• For being more comfortable driving a church van than your minivan.
• For asking for more budget to cover the rental of sumo costumes
• Or for losing the receipt for the sumo costumes.
• For knowing exactly how much cash and time it takes to get 15 pizzas delivered.
• For knowing that one large pizza feeds about 5 teenagers.
• For practicing games on the XBox during office hours.
• For bringing your kids on the camping trip for free.
• For reusing a killer illustration over and over and over again.
• For feeling weird when the senior pastor rips off your killer illustration in his sermon.
• For being there when all hell breaks loose.
• For being a little thankful that hell has broken loose because you know God will use it.
• For asking hard questions to discover harder truths.
• For challenging boys to become men.
• For challenging moms and dads to let go of their dreams for their kids so their kids can have dreams of their own.
• For representing Christ in places no one wants him represented.
• For challenging other leaders to think differently about teenagers.
• For challenging teenagers to think differently about themselves.
• For asking students to skip band camp for Bible camp.
• For keeping the door open when a member of the opposite sex is in your office.
• For asking the secretary to skip her lunch so you aren’t in the church alone with a student.
• For trying things that are new.
• For giving up on things that don’t work.
• For always believing that people can change.
• For reaching the wrong kids.
• For reaching kids like me.

via adammclane.com

Leading Blog: A Leadership Blog via www.leadershipnow.com

Lead. Anchor yourself in Humility. Leadership is an all-in proposition. Never react; instead ask yourself: is this about me or about we? If it’s the former, forget it and rise above.

Purpose. The why. Purpose must have a long shadow, extending its influence over others.

Strategy. Strategy starts with the results of today. Strategy, rooted in values and purpose, gives encouragement through times of ambiguity and uncertainty. Strategy without purpose and values is a short-term plan that is directed toward shallow goals.

People. When you.re the leader, it’s never about you, but it starts with you. The leader can’t be the star player, scoring all the points. (Although many try to do just that.) Set high expectations for your team members, and help them to see what they can achieve.

Measure. Don’t rely on what you believe to be true. Measure and monitor so you know if it’s true. Validate your data. Walk around. Talk to people. Listen. Look into their eyes and see for yourself whether the strategy is really working.

Empower. The leader’s job is not to empower people, but rather to help them to empower themselves. It’s the difference between ordering people to do something and inspiring them to see what they can do.

Reward. Employees work harder for leaders who demonstrate respect for their work. Authentic, purposeful praise is a power skill of the successful leader—everywhere.

Anticipate. As a leader, you must always have your focus on the horizon. Your first task is to hone your view of the present that you perceive around you and your organization. Grounded in this reality, you are able to raise your sights toward the horizon and beyond.

Navigate. Anticipation and navigation are complementary skills. It involves making decisions in real time that allow you to adjust, react, and outmaneuver the competition—always on the lookout for the unexpected.

Communicate. Communication is where leadership lives and breathes. That means more listening than talking. It’s not merely telling people what you think and what you know. It is a process in which you seek first to understand what others think.

Listen. Listen, learn, and then lead—in that order.

Learn. Knowledge is what you know. Wisdom is acknowledging what you don’t know. Surround yourself with a handful of people who will be your corrective lens, making sure that you focus and learn. Equally important, your inner circle should be made up of confidants who provide grounding and perspective, seeing you as a person rather than a function.

 

via www.leadershipnow.com

20 things you'll never hear at your funeral. | Sammy Adebiyi

1. You know we really wish she gave less, risked less and served less.

2. Mummy and Daddy had a huge impact on my life because they made so much money. (greatest hits)

3. He had by far the best house and the newest nicest car in the neighborhood.

4. Nobody in the world has ever gone through what He went through.

5. You know what's amazing about this guy? He lived life to the fullest and he did it all on his own. He didn't even need anyone. (friendship) 

6.  She attempted and accomplished so many great things in her life but she never failed once. (fail)

7. My husband was so amazing because he was always right. I never heard him say sorry because He never had to say sorry. (sorry)

8. I wish dad would said he was proud of me less and I never understood why mom wanted to spend so much time with me. (disgraceful dad)

9. She changed the world by pointing out what was wrong with what others were doing. She never played on the team but she was a master critic of the game from the bleachers and the world is a better place for it. (shut up or play)

10. None of us would be here if He hadn't taken life too seriously. We are indebted to the fact that he never laughed, played or had any significant fun. (laugh) 

11. It's incredible how she managed to do great things for God without having to first be faithful in the small insignificant things. (waiting) 

12. My dad was the best in the world because he always made sure we lived way above our income.

13. She was so skinny and wore a size __. He was so ripped! (him)

14. He tried to be the best in the world at what he did and succeeded. There was none better. 

15. She stood for many things and was beloved by everyone. (haters)

16. He was always on fire for God. No deserts, doubts or waiting periods. Just mountain tops. (doubt)

17. Daddy was my hero because I never saw him cry or show weakness
. (dudes)

18. (S)he was so happy and lived a satisfying life because (s)he was GREAT in bed and experienced every sexual pleasure possible. (sex) 

via sammyadebiyi.com

12 things I want my daughters to know about relationships. | Sammy Adebiyi

1. You'll sometimes feel like you're running out of time. Relax, breathe, you have time. This is not a race and you're not competing with your friends.

2. Before you say yes, know for sure that he'll pick Jesus over you in a heart beat.

3. God has a part for you in his story. Your marriage is not an end in itself. Marry a man on an adventure with Jesus.

4. Dating gives us massive blind spots. Please make sure you have friends who will tell you the truth about you, him and your relationship. If you're the only one who endorses the relationship, chances are you're missing something big. 

5. Who you are is always more important than what you do. It doesn't matter if an angel appears to you and says "He is the one" if your relationship doesn't honor God. 

6. Daddy loves you. Always. When you make mistakes (which you will) remember you can always come home to daddy. No matter what. Nothing you say to me will ever change how much I love you. 

7. By the time you're old enough to date, I'll definitely own a gun.

8. Please talk to mom about boys. She's been there. She'll listen, laugh and cry with you. That's a special season. Please give her that gift.

9. Jesus loves you more than you'll ever know. His love never ever fails and it will never run out on you. The health of your relationship depends on how much you get this truth. 

10. There will be plenty of days when he won't be able to give you what you want. That's not only normal, it's the point. Look to Jesus. Be honest. Be raw. Pour your desires to him.

11. Nothing you go through is unique to just you. Seek help. Seek wisdom. Seek counsel. Always. 

12. I hope I'm great friends with him. I hope I can be dad to him. I hope he can call me if he ever needs anything. I also look forward to eating some wings and watching the game with him (unless he's an Ohio State fan but I know you wouldn't ever do that to your dad). 

13. Marriage is the hardest adventure you'll ever go on. But it's absolutely incredible. The best decision I've ever made was marrying your mom but it was also a decision that I took very very carefully and prayerfully. 

Be honest, one to thirteen, which one(s) did you need to hear? 

via sammyadebiyi.com

OutreachMagazine.com - Full-Throttle Evangelism Reaches Bikers

On making a change for greater impact
Faith Riders, a Christian organization at the Daytona Beach, Fla., Bike Week, saw 300 people come to Christ when it offered visitors chances to win a motorcycle if they first listened to a short salvation message. Teears, who had visited the Daytona Bike Week, took the idea to his parishioners, who developed a flip chart presentation to share the Four Spiritual Laws in less than five minutes. Kitty Hawk Baptist Church decided to offer a free meal from the church-sponsored concession stand and a chance to win $500 if motorcyclists would listen to the salvation message.

Although church attendees were eager to hand out towels in previous years, Teears says he knew many were shy about sharing the Gospel with strangers. The flip chart helped them overcome that.

“I heard from several [church members], ‘I’ve never given the Gospel till today,’” Teears says. “That’s huge as a pastor to think you’ve helped someone take that next step in the Christian walk.”

About 30 people accepted Christ during the week.

On connecting with a group outside the church’s comfort zone
Teears says Kitty Hawk Baptist is not a “biker church”—only one person in the church owns a motorcycle—and attendees did not know how they would connect with bikers at the festival. But they stepped out in faith.

“So many in our church have embraced this,” Teears says. “One of our people saw a guy in a restaurant in a motorcycle T-shirt, asked him what kind of bike he rides and invited him to church on Sunday. He never would have done that it we hadn’t been part of Bike Week.”

via www.outreachmagazine.com

The 5 Shadows of Leadership | Ron Edmondson

Functional Atheism

Craig Groeschel did a wonderful job of describing all the ways we believe in God but live as if He didn’t exist. Functional atheism within leadership is a deep-seated understanding that all of life is dependent on us and our abilities. We often convince ourselves that if things must happen, we will be the ones to do it. And the result of this mindset is burnout, depression, and poor relationships. Overcoming this shadow allows us to rely on others, which empowers them and liberates us from our own atheistic world.

via www.ronedmondson.com

Homosexuality and Its Quest to be the New Normal | Ordinary Pastor

It means that we better get justification and sanctification clear. This is such an epidemic in evangelicalism; we aim to justify the church and sanctify the world. The world is not going to keep the Ten Commandments, walk in the Spirit, or glorify Christ…they can’t! They are unbelievers and they will act like it. This should not surprise us. We can recall our own unbelieving lives and we have read passages like Romans 3. The transformation into Christ likeness comes out of being declared not guilty and righteous in God’s eyes (Rom. 5.1). This comes by the merit of Christ in his doing and dying for sinners like us. We cannot expect unbelievers to look and act like believers. Having our these theological categories straight will greatly aid our interaction with the new normal.

It means that we better be clear about the character of God. The repeated theme is that “God made me this way and he would not want me to be unhappy.” The issue is not as much about the morality of the unbeliever but the character of God. Who is God? How did he create? Why did he create? How does he communicate what morality is? How do we know what he values? All of these questions drive us back to the Word of God for objectivity rather than subjectivity. God’s love is characterized by holiness and truth. You cannot know or experience the love of God apart from truth. In order to feel his love we must know him. Before we go about arguing about the cultural usages and understanding of particular Greek words there is priority to understand and communicate who God is.

It means that we better be clear about the problem. Far too many times I have heard evangelicals talk about homosexuality like our job was to get them to become heterosexual. If we can just get them to be straight then our work is done. The Christian objective in missions is to see people become Christians! This means that we want to see all sexual sinners become worshipers of Jesus. This includes fornicators, adulterers, porn-addicts, homosexuals, or whatever other category you can think up. The goal is to become a believer who turns from the worship of self to the worship of God. It is to turn from rebellion that is characterized by the suppression of truth to the submission that is characterized by obedience to the truth (Rom. 1.18-25; 3.19-27). The central issue is worship, or idolatry. The central answer is always the gospel.

It means that we better be clear about our tone. Can you lovingly engage a homosexual with the gospel in a winsome, tactful and still faithful way? Can you love them? This is really a question that I think evangelicals need to wrestle with and decidedly answer “yes, we must!” Pivoting out of the points above, that is out of the gospel, we have to see our own weakness and neediness. Who among us is not needy of the grace of Christ? Then we must lovingly and faithfully talk to others about it. If you can’t get control of yourself and speak the words of grace and truth to someone who is straight or gay then you need to ask God to give you a bigger heart. Ask him to shake you of pride and work gospel compassion down into you. I know that God is saving a lot of people from a gay lifestyle and I pray that he will continue to do so. As missionaries we need to speak and act like we actually want him to

via www.ordinarypastor.com

Homosexuality and Its Quest to be the New Normal | Ordinary Pastor

This change is not restricted solely to the President. Advocates for Gay rights have tirelessly worked to change the public perception of same sex couples. Over the last 15-25 years America has done a near 180 on the issue. The attempt has been to sanitize and normalize homosexuality.

via www.ordinarypastor.com

Homosexuality and Its Quest to be the New Normal | Ordinary Pastor

This change is not restricted solely to the President. Advocates for Gay rights have tirelessly worked to change the public perception of same sex couples. Over the last 15-25 years America has done a near 180 on the issue. The attempt has been to sanitize and normalize homosexuality.

via www.ordinarypastor.com

When Preaching Doesn’t Work | TonyMorganLive.com

In church world, I think there’s a tendency to think that we can just preach our way to a new ministry objective. We fall into the trap of thinking that life change will happen solely through teaching. Preaching and teaching are an ingredient of change in ministries and in individuals, but I’m not convinced it’s the only ingredient.

Truth be told, I’m guessing most people have already forgotten whatever you preached about a few weeks ago. And, another group of people wasn’t even at the service where you addressed that critical topic. If there’s any lasting impact to a message or series, it’s because systems or disciplines have been implemented and embraced that lead to change. The next steps have to be obvious.

via tonymorganlive.com

What are your actions really saying to your students? | Youth Leaders Academy

You’re important to me. Yes, but I’ve got no time to talk to you this week because I’m really busy organizing the youth retreat, so maybe we could meet in two weeks?

You’re never to young to serve God. Sure, but I don’t think you leading worship is such a good idea. That’s more something for adults, don’t you think? You could help out serving coffee after the service though.

God loves you as you are. He sure does. However, did you know that the Bible explicitly condemns tattoos? You may want to consider removing that or at least covering it up in youth group.

I forgive you. I don’t ever trust you again and I sure won’t ever in all eternity give you any kind of responsibility again, but sure, you’re forgiven.

It’s the all too familiar credo of ‘actions speak louder than words’. But have you ever stopped and considered what this means for what you’re really telling you students? Are your words and your actions aligned or do they contradict each other?

If the latter is the case, all your carefully crafted Biblically-supported words won’t make a lick of difference. Your actions speak way louder than what you could ever say.

Have the guts to reflect on your actions, the way you relate to your students and how you interact with them. Are you walking your talk? Or is there a painful discrepancy between your words and your walk? It’s not too late to change course and start living out your own messages.

via www.youthleadersacademy.com

What are your actions really saying to your students? | Youth Leaders Academy

You’re important to me. Yes, but I’ve got no time to talk to you this week because I’m really busy organizing the youth retreat, so maybe we could meet in two weeks?

You’re never to young to serve God. Sure, but I don’t think you leading worship is such a good idea. That’s more something for adults, don’t you think? You could help out serving coffee after the service though.

God loves you as you are. He sure does. However, did you know that the Bible explicitly condemns tattoos? You may want to consider removing that or at least covering it up in youth group.

I forgive you. I don’t ever trust you again and I sure won’t ever in all eternity give you any kind of responsibility again, but sure, you’re forgiven.

It’s the all too familiar credo of ‘actions speak louder than words’. But have you ever stopped and considered what this means for what you’re really telling you students? Are your words and your actions aligned or do they contradict each other?

If the latter is the case, all your carefully crafted Biblically-supported words won’t make a lick of difference. Your actions speak way louder than what you could ever say.

Have the guts to reflect on your actions, the way you relate to your students and how you interact with them. Are you walking your talk? Or is there a painful discrepancy between your words and your walk? It’s not too late to change course and start living out your own messages.

via www.youthleadersacademy.com

When girls bully girls and women bully women. « eugene cho

But, let’s focus on young women for now:

• Did you know that a girl is bullied every 7 minutes in America?
• Almost 1/3 of girls are directly involved in bullying – and on a regular basis. About 77% of students have been verbally bullied in some way.
• 43% of girls fear harassment in school bathrooms.

And the numbers go on.

Recently, I had a long conversation with one of my daughters about how she was doing. I was stunned that she recalled – in such a graphic and precise manner – a very painful memory of some girls verbally “bullying” her and isolating her because she looked different (as an Asian). The incident took place over 4 years ago!

In my now 21 years of ministry, there’s been a consistent trend of pain and scars due to past and current forms of “bullying.” While I don’t want to make a sweeping generalization, this is one way how boys and girls and men and women can differ in how they go about ‘bullying’ -

Bullying as Emotional Violence

Girls bully by using emotional violence. They do things that make others feel alienated and alone. Some of the tactics used by girls who bully include:

• anonymous prank phone calls or harassing emails from dummy accounts
• playing jokes or tricks designed to embarrass and humiliate
• deliberate exclusion of other kids for no real reason
• whispering in front of other kids with the intent to make them feel left out
• name calling, rumor spreading and other malicious verbal interactions
• being friends one week and then turning against a peer the next week with no incident or reason for the alienation
• encouraging other kids to ignore or pick on a specific child
• inciting others to act out violently or aggressively (source)

What do you think?

Agree or disagree?
Is this over-hyped?
Do you have any personal stories?

via eugenecho.com

Breaking the Smartphone Addiction — HBS Working Knowledge

Imagine my delight then, when four years after we conducted our first experiment at BCG's Boston office, 86 percent of the consulting staff in the firm's Northeast offices—including Boston, New York, and Washington, DC—were on teams engaged in similar PTO experiments. These team members were much more likely than their colleagues on teams not participating in PTO to rate their overall satisfaction with work and work-life positively. For example:

• 51 percent (versus 27 percent) were excited to start work in the morning
• 72 percent (versus 49 percent) were satisfied with their job
• 54 percent (versus 38 percent) were satisfied with their work-life balance

We also discovered that significantly more of those on PTO teams found the work process to be collaborative, efficient, and effective.

• 91 percent (versus 76 percent) rated their team as collaborative
• 65 percent (versus 42 percent) rated their team as doing everything it could to be efficient
• 74 percent (versus 51 percent) rated their team as doing everything it could to be effective

The happy result for BCG was that individuals engaged in PTO experiments were more likely to see themselves at the firm for the long term (58 percent versus 40 percent) and were more likely to perceive that they were providing significant value to their clients (95 percent versus 84 percent). BCG clients reported a range of experiences with PTO teams from neutral (nothing dropped through the cracks) to extremely positive (they reaped significant benefits). According to BCG's CEO, Hans-Paul Bürkner, the process unleashed by these experiments "has proven not only to enhance work-life balance, making careers much more sustainable, but also to improve client value delivery, consultant development, business services team effectiveness, and overall case experience. It is becoming part of the culture—the future of BCG."

The Cycle of Responsiveness: The Root of the 24/7 Habit

The reason PTO can be so effective for both individuals' work-lives and the work itself: busy managers and professionals tend to amplify—through their own actions and interactions—the inevitable pressures of their jobs, making their own and their colleagues' lives more intense, more overwhelming, more demanding, and less fulfilling than they need to be. The result of this vicious cycle is that the work process ends up being less effective and efficient than it could be. The power of PTO is that it breaks this cycle, mitigating the pressure, freeing individuals to spend time in ways that are more desirable for themselves personally and for the work process.

The initial discovery that illuminated all of this emerged from one of the surveys we conducted of sixteen hundred managers and professionals.

Of this sample, 92 percent reported putting in fifty or more hours of work a week. A third of this group was working sixty-five or more hours a week. And that doesn't include the twenty to twenty-five hours per week most of them reported monitoring their work while not actually working: 70 percent admitted to checking their smartphone each day within an hour after getting up, and 56 percent did so within an hour before going to bed. Weekends offered no let-up: 48 percent checked over the weekend, even on Friday and Saturday nights. Vacations were no better: 51 percent checked continuously when on vacation. If they lost their wireless device and couldn't replace it for a week, 44 percent of those surveyed said they would experience "a great deal of anxiety."

And 26 percent confessed to sleeping with their smartphones. Simply put, people were "on" a great deal.

We defined on as the time people spent working plus all the additional time they were available, monitoring their work in case something came up. And, we d

via hbswk.hbs.edu

Tapping the Untapped Power of Power « Leadership Freak

Power is good, it gets things done. Power is bad when it’s used to abuse and manipulate others for selfish ends.

Essential:

Who takes organizations further? You’ll go further with teams of powerful people. Those who never use power are doomed to be controlled by others.

Warren Bennis interviewed 90 individuals who were nominated by their peers as most influential leaders. They all shared one characteristic. They made others feel powerful. (Leaders: Strategies for Taking Charge, 2003)

via leadershipfreak.wordpress.com